April 2016 - sheIQ Life

Archive for April 2016 | Monthly archive page

Fear (R) | Bronwen Sciortino | sheIQlife | Simplicity Expert | Stress Reduction Resilience Mindfulness | Professional Speaker

First published on Huffington Post – 16 April 2016

It’s only a short word, but the word ‘change’ can instil a massive amount of fear in our hearts.

Change is defined by Dictionary.com as making ‘…the form, nature, content, future, course, etc. of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.’

We’ve been socially conditioned to behave in an acceptable manner, to think in an acceptable way and to undertake acceptable activities. Change contradicts this conditioning and therefore often holds a large amount of fear of the unknown for us.

Without knowing it, our social conditioning can program us to be completely averse to change. If we’re taught to fear change, then when it occurs in our life it causes significant levels of stress and can cripple our ability to make decisions about the future. We can find ourselves accepting a status quo that is not good for us simply because we are unable to entertain the thought of change.

We’re typically juggling a number of things in our lives at once – work, home, family, friends, sport and charity.  They’re all demanding. They all suck up time and energy. They all compete for first place as being the most important. We run from pillar to post trying to make sure all of them are satisfied with the attention we give to them. And we’re almost always left feeling like we’ve let one of them down – that we’ve failed.

The more we feel like we’ve failed, the more we push ourselves to be ‘better’. The more we push ourselves the more stressed we become. The more stressed we become the less we look after our health – our diet, exercise and sleep are all affected by the increase in the stress hormones that are released in our system. The more our health declines, the more exhausted we become. The more exhausted we become the harder we have to push ourselves to continue to achieve at previous levels. And so the cycle continues.

Until we can’t continue anymore. Until our body and our mind say ‘No’ and force us to stop. Until we simply can’t get up any more – no matter how strong willed a person we are.

It is at this point that we are usually faced by a traumatic, life-changing event – one that brings us face to face with our mortality. One that forces us to change. One that provides us with a slow, painful and extremely challenging recovery. It is in this moment that we move to being more afraid of death than we are of change.

We’ve moved from invincible to facing the reality that none of us knows how long we have in this life. Our priorities change – because they have to. Our outlook on life changes – because it needs to. We become much more attuned to our life and the things we need to be able to surive – and in fact, to thrive.

But what if I told you that the solution is not to flip to fearing death more than we fear change. What if I told you that we’ve been misled for a long time and we don’t have to have a traumatic event in our life to make us think differently. What if there is a solution that means you can minimize the role that both fear and death play in your life?

We’re currently trained to believe that making change in our lives is hard. Our immediate reaction when someone asks us to do something different is to resist it because we don’t like change.

It’s time for us to think about things differently.

It’s time for us to know that we can break everything down into small, simple, easily achievable steps that means that it’s really easy to implement change.

It all starts with looking at everything that comes across our path as an adventure – a chance to learn something new. A chance to find ways to make our lives easier – a chance to live differently and in a way we will love.

It’s easy to do – the question is – will you take the first small, simple step to do it?

There are loads of tips and tricks on how to think and live differently in ‘Keep It Super Simple’ – you can buy a copy from my website or call me on +61 438 624 868 to discuss how I can help you to implement small steps to simplify your life.

Lies (R) | Bronwen Sciortino | sheIQlife | Simplicity Expert | Stress Reduction Resilience Mindfulness | Professional Speaker

First published on Huffington Post – 9 April 2016

We often think about stories as being things we’re told as we’re growing up.

They’re about love, and fairy tales and being rescued by a prince on a dashing white horse. They usually have a theme that we’re supposed to learn from, and they often form part of our social conditioning.

But did you know that story telling forms a large part of our everyday lives, and that we’re ALL story tellers? Our stories are the things we tell people when they ask us questions about our lives. They are the answers that we give when someone asks us ‘how are you?’ or ‘what have you been doing?’.

The way we answer these questions will determine the path we travel in this world.

The more emotion we attach to telling our story, the more attached we become to the story. The more attached to the story, the more we weave the story into our lives. The more we weave, the more our lives mirror the story.

Before we can blink, our lives have become what our words have foretold.

Here’s 4 lies I bet you use everyday:

‘I can’t do that because …..’

These are the classic tales we weave into our stories that keep us living our lives in a small way. For example, I can’t run anymore because I have old and broken knees. In reality, you can run but you choose not to. And the longer you tell the story of having old and broken knees the more likely it is that you will have old and broken knees. In

Instead, consider how easy it would be to change the words in your story to be ‘I choose not to run anymore – instead I exercise by walking and taking yoga classes. I find that this combination supports my strength and flexibility and keeps me fit and mobile.

Such a simple change in the wording and it gives you a completely different outlook and view on life.

‘That’s alright for her because …..’

Most of us spend a lot of time comparing our lives to those around us – and we almost always fall short in the measuring process. When we don’t measure up, we start finding ways to justify why someone has something, does something or has achieved something we haven’t – we look for their ‘unfair advantage’.

‘It’s alright for her because ….’ Starts to creep in. It’s alright for her because she didn’t have to fit in studying for her masters. Or it’s alright for her because she didn’t have to work two jobs while trying to stay fit and then visit her father in hospital.

We’re all individuals. We have very different lives. So why then would we compare ourselves to others to determine whether or not we’re successful? When we look at others we automatically see all the good things in their life – the things they have, the places they’ve been the car they drive, the job they have. When we look at ourselves we use the things in our lives that aren’t quite right to compare to this. We’re comparing apples to oranges and becoming stressed and depressed because they look different.

What if we don’t even look at what others are doing and simply look at the things in our life to determine how we’re feeling. When we glimpse internally we get a very different view of the world.

‘I don’t need to do that because …..’

This little gem is perhaps the most destructive of the lies we tell, because it’s the one that holds us back from experiencing the most growth in our lives.

This lie creeps in when we are afraid of doing something that will change our lives. We’re so busy convincing ourselves we don’t need to do something that we don’t have time to consider whether or not it would be good for us.

We can become so entrenched in the way we do things that considering new possibilities and opportunities becomes scary. We become fearful which means we automatically say ‘No’ to things that are actually really great growth opportunities for us.

Take a moment to think about the things you say ‘No’ to. Be honest, is it because you don’t want to do it? Or is it because you’re too afraid to do it?

‘I’m far too busy ….’

It’s not surprising that this lie comes up regularly – after all, busy is a badge we’re all competing to wear!

 ‘I’m so busy’ ….it’s become the pre-requisite for proving that your life is a success. We fill our lives with layer after layer of ‘stuff’ so that we can prove to everyone how successful we are. Every second of every day must give us a story to tell about what we’ve done, where we’ve been and who we are with. If you don’t have this, then what have you got?

OK, so you’re busy – but what are you busy with?

When was the last time you stopped to look at what you’re actually busy with? What if being ‘busy’ is actually just a fad – and one that is slowly killing you?

If you sat down and gave names to all the balls you have in the air right now, what would you say about them? Are they worthwhile? Do they enrich your life or are they just things?

The words we use regularly have the power to determine the path our lives take. It’s so important to take a few moments every day to be conscious of the stories we’re telling about our lives. You have control over your destiny – all you need to do is be smart about how you create the story that leads you to your purpose in life.

There are loads of tips and tricks on how to think and live differently in ‘Keep It Super Simple’ – you can buy a copy from my website or call me on +61 438 624 868 to discuss how I can help you to implement small steps to simplify your life.

 

SheiqLife Logo | Bronwen Sciortino | sheIQlife | Simplicity Expert | Stress Reduction Resilience Mindfulness | Professional Speaker
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